ALICE

20040601alice

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

IF YOU BROWSE around through my journal entries, sooner or later you are going to realize that music is a big part of my life. You will probably realize it sooner than later. My second entry mentions music, none other than The Beatles. However, as you browse, you will realize that I am a super Alice Cooper freak.

Now I realize that some of you will just say, “Well, that just makes you a FREAK period!” Hey, Alice isn’t for everybody. But he is for those of us who happen to be cool, those of us who know good tunes (at least Alice’s 70’s music) when we hear them, those of us who happen to be drawn to the freak show that is Alice Cooper.

Alice isn’t all freak though. He’s not only about dead babies, boa constrictors, guillotines, and nooses. The music of the original Alice Cooper band, especially, was basic rock-n-roll for the most part. A lot of the darker themes and theatrics were weird and humorous in their own ways. But much of the music was solid and some of it has stood the test of time.

Alice Cooper was originally the name of a band that included Dennis Dunaway, Glen Buxton, Neal Smith, Michael Bruce and Vincent Furnier. Rumor has it that the name Alice Cooper was the name of a 17th century witch that the band contacted through a ouija board. Later, Vincent Furnier took the name as his own. Once the original band split up in 1975, he was Alice Cooper.

There is no denying that Alice Cooper’s musical quality suffered after the band broke up. He became better known for his shocking theatrics and concept albums, such as “Welcome to My Nightmare,” “Alice Cooper Goes to Hell,” and “From the Inside.” His reputation for theatrics grew, but the style and caliber of his music was disappointing for most of us who loved the music.

However, there is good news for those of us who loved the music of the original Alice Cooper band! Last fall, Alice released an album called “The Eyes of Alice Cooper.” Most of it is in the vein of the old Alice sound. I was thrilled to death when I heard it! (Or should I say I “Loved it to Death?”) Finally! The return of the true Alice! “The Eyes of Alice Cooper” is classic Cooper offerings. It has the good old basic rock, a few songs that could lend themselves to theatrics, and the typical Alice Cooper humor. After hearing this album, I felt that my musical life had almost come full circle.

I say “almost full circle” because one thing is lacking. I have never seen Alice Cooper in concert. “For shame!” you say. You see, the Alice Cooper band had split up by the time I discovered them. I was only 12. Their album “School’s Out” was the very first album I ever bought. Even if the band still was together then, I was too young to go to one of their concerts. And I certainly couldn’t expect my mom to take me. She was too busy listening to her music, evil nasty stuff. I almost saw an Alice Cooper concert later in high school. But that didn’t work out. I lost interest after that for a number of years.

For some time now it has been a dream of mine to buy Alice Cooper concert tickets. My dream has been to knock on my cousin’s door, tickets in hand, and say, “Look what I got! Let’s go!” For it is I who turned my cousin on to the music. I am to blame for my cousin’s love of a man named Alice. When I was 12 and he 14, I pulled out my “School’s Out” album, which looked like an old school desk with the top that opened to reveal the record wrapped in paper panties. I disrobed the vinyl and gently laid it on the turntable. My cousin fell in love at 33 1/3 rpms.

Last week I had the opportunity to fulfill my dream. Alice Cooper is playing at Musikfest in Bethlehem, PA in August, just 20 minutes away from my home. I bought tickets. No, I bought VIP tickets in the ninth row from the center of the stage. When the tickets arrived in the mail, I wrote my cousin’s name on one of them, drove to his house, knocked on his door.

“Hey, cuz… I got something in the mail that has your name on it! Look… right there… And it also has the name ‘Alice Cooper’ over here…”

“Dude!! You bought Alice Cooper tickets?? And you want ME to go?? Rock-n-roll!!”

That’s right, cuz, rock-n-roll. I turned you on to Alice in 1975. I’m obligated to take you to one of his concerts. I’ve waited a long time for this opportunity. Seeing your eyes light up as you held that ticket was a dream come true. I doubt that even Alice himself can top that.

alphabyteslogo3 An AlphaBytes Project – The Letter A

ZERO, ZIP, ZILCH

20040531pizza

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

Zero, zip, zilch…

That’s how much I’m writing tonight. I’m tired. I have pneumonia. I don’t feel like writing. I think I’ll watch a movie instead. Maybe I’ll watch “Pulp Fiction” since I’m in a Tarantino mood after watching “Kill Bill 1” with my friend Suzy today.

Actually, what I’m doing is cheating. (Not something a zaddik should do, I know. Not even one wearing a zucchetto. Though one would question the appropriateness of a zaddik wearing a zucchetto.) In my zeal to get started with the AlphaBytes project for June, I am writing an article and posting it today! Ha! It’s still only May! The goal of the project is to write a journal entry for each of the letters of the alphabet. Being as zany as I am, I thought I’d start with the last letter instead of the first. So, you can thank the letter Z, affectionately known as “zed” to some of you outside of America, for this entry.

Not wanting to stay up too later, let me just write a few words since I’m here. I promise not to use the words zucchini, zebra or zygote. I will, however, listen to Frank Zappa while writing this. As a cultural note, I must say that zuppa inglese sounds absolutely delicious, especially the rum part.

Change of plans… Let’s listen to Warren Zevon instead.

Like I said above, I have pneumonia. WHAT? How did that happen?? Exzactly my thoughts! (Slipped that one in there. Heh.) You might remember that I mentioned having bronchitis back in December. The doctor that treated me then, the one who looked like Groucho Marx (not Zeppo), said that I was also experiencing bronchospasms. I had a lot of wheezing.

The breathing difficulties never went away. I was always out of breath, sometimes receiving both the concern and ridicule of those around me as I huffed and puffed up the stairs. So I went to the doctors again in March. Groucho’s partner thought that I might be developing asthma. So he gave me some asthma medicine and told me to get a chest x-ray, even though he didn’t expect anything to show up on the x-ray. Since he didn’t seem too concerned, and I’m a big procrastinator, I didn’t go for the x-ray until mid-April.

When I called for more asthma medicine a week ago, the nurse informed me that my x-ray showed that I had pneumonia in my left lung. Say what??? “Didn’t anyone call you, Mr. Snyder? The doctor wanted you on antibiotics a month ago!” No, no one called me! I heard zero, zip, zilch!

Well, I picked up the antibiotics, Zithromax, as a matter of fact. Today was the tenth day after starting the medication. Guess what. I’m still a wheezing, hacking, huffing, puffing one-lunged tired sucker! I called the doctor on Friday to see what I should do next. He was on vacation and his receptionist told me not to worry about it and just call next week sometime. I don’t think so. This sucker’s going to a different doctor.

You know, a half-year of not being able to breathe properly is enough. The fatigue is driving me crazy. I am not the kind of person who can simply shut down and rest. I don’t want to miss anything. There are too many things to do in the world. I always say that I wish I could just go without sleep completely. Who needs it? I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Well, under the circumstances, if I don’t rest now, I might be dead sooner than I want to be.

But what did I do this weekend? On Saturday, I drove the kids around to work and such, something I do nearly every day now. Then I took a drive to Merril Creek Reservoir, intending to walk around for a few hours and take a few photos. That turned out to be a zoological wonder! The place was swarming with cicadas. It was unbelievable! But that’s a story for the letter C. After a few hours of walking among the billions of bugs, I went home and fell asleep for a few hours. That is completely out of character for me!

On Sunday, I took Suzy to Merril Creek to witness the cicadas. We ended up hiking the five-mile trail around the perimeter of the reservoir. Believe it or not, I made it all the way on just half a functioning lung. Later, I fell asleep again. Exhausted.

Today, Memorial Day, I drove kids to jobs, picked one up an hour later after Burger King lost electrical power. I did manage to take it easy for most of the day though. Our little town had a Memorial Day parade. I haven’t decided to write about that under the letter M for Memorial Day, P for parade, or F for the whole 15 minutes that the parade lasted. Maybe I should use B for boring. Other than that, I did some laundry and watched “Kill Bill.”

Speaking of movies… I gotta go. Warren is almost done singing.

My apologies to ZZ Top for not mentioning them in this article.

(Just out of curiosity… Do you consider yourself to be zoophagous?)

I guess “Zero, Zip, Zilch” wasn’t exactly fitting for this article. I should have called it zomething else.

alphabyteslogo3 An AlphaBytes Project – The Letter Z

The Poor Fellow

(Originally posted on the website Continuum…)

20040531crowdOnNeighborsLawn

A few days ago I wrote about my neighbor’s beautiful, well-kept lawn. Look what happened! A whole crowd came to see!

Actually, our little town had a Memorial Day parade today. The parade participants gathered at our end of the main street before the parade began. Soon there were all kinds of people on the neighbor’s grass: eager spectators waiting for the quaint parade to start, Cub Scouts, Brownies, and even a marching band. I was wondering how the poor guy felt to see all those people tramping across his yard. The best is the guy sitting there on the rock in his flower bed in between his big pine trees. The poor fellow must have been sprawled out on the great big foyer of his house having a stroke!